[simpleazon-image align="left" asin="B008BMMXF4" locale="us" height="75" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41GpVIv3uGL._SL75_.jpg" width="65"]I have been watching the Hungry For Change video … I’ve got quite a lot to say about it, but that will have to wait. When I was buying it, I was offered the May I Be Frank video (trailer below) … and I’ll have something to say about that, too.

In the meantime, watch the trailer:


What’s burning my brain right now was a phrase I heard for the first time in my life … I heard it on the trailer for the “Frank” movie: “Let us love you until you can love yourself”. I thought that it was wonderful, and ought to become the motto for Together We Can. I Googled it, and discovered that it seems to be used all over the place; mostly in 12-step groups.

And I found a few blog entries about it. The first, called “Cotton Candy Sobriety” by Vince Jones, says it’s just a cliché, along with a bunch of other clichés he’s heard in AA meetings. He says it’s just sugar and hot air. For a while Mr Jones had me running for cover, not wanting to be accused of empty rhetoric or new-age fluff. And maybe it is a cliché when used in an AA group, after all, their essence is anonymity, and the importance of anyone being able to drop in or out at any time … so one could question how deep a love could form.

But then, on AddictScience.com I came across Why Love Is Therapeutic. Having told us that research shows that romantic love really boosts Dopamine, one of the reward Neuro-transmitters, the author goes on to say

Neuroscientists have also studied parental love. They report that both maternal and romantic love activate regions specific to each, but also stimulate overlapping regions triggered by both. Significantly, this overlap takes place in the brain’s Limbic “reward” system, the system hijacked by addictive drugs

And then …

And love is what one gets in chemical-dependency treatment facilities and 12-Step meeting rooms. In rehab, the staff was constantly telling me things like, “Let us love you until you can love yourself,”

That’s exactly what they did. Their love, their caring, compassion, understanding, and support was a central factor …

Research demonstrates that social support also increases dopamine. Thus, addicts in recovery get powerful emotional benefits from participation in 12-Step programs apart from the message of sobriety alone.

[simpleazon-image align="right" asin="0553386395" locale="us" height="75" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41Fikggw86L._SL75_.jpg" width="49"]And through the New Science of Kindness (as described in “Mindsight”) and studies of how mirror neurons help us create empathy, and how, when we are young, they can provide one of the mechanisms through which we wind up with our adult attachment status, we discover that this is no cotton-candy new age fluff, but, done correctly and with integrity, it is hard-nosed, up to the minute, science.

So I think I just will hijack this motto of addiction-recovery programmes for Live Free From Obesity and Together We Can. And I will make sure that every TWC group knows how to operate at a level of integrity that that can produce that “friendly” and “familial” love called storge, and even agape (pronounced agga-pay) … or am I going too far?

My problem right now is I don’t have a re-hab centre, or a 12-step programme in which I feel this level of support. More to the point, I don’t have a Together We Can group to help me. Yet tomorrow morning I will be beginning the radical nutrition phase of the Live Free From Obesity programme (that’s New Speak for “diet” … But much more satisfactory).

My answer is to take what is for me (and most people, I suspect) a very radical step. I have e-mailed, connected on FB, and by this blog post, connected with lots of people who know me and, in effect, asked them “To Love Me Until I Can Love Myself”.

Eeek! Scary!

Here’s the trailer for the “May I Be Frank” video:


[simpleazon-image align="none" asin="B00AIZ21W2" locale="us" height="160" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51MQIM33asL._SL160_.jpg" width="115"]

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